OK. I need opinions. There is a situation here where I live. I was asked if I could help in any way because there is a family that needs help for the holidays. I'm torn. I WANT to help because I don't think the kids should suffer but on the same token, I don't have much TO give and what I do have could be used for someone else.

story:

Mom and dad have been married for almost 2 years. The mom had 3 children from a previous relationship.

2 days ago, the husband found out the wife was cheating on him with someone in his command. He got angry. Took all the stuff he had bought for the kids for Christmas back to the store and left them.

the wife has no job. She's looking but this close to Christmas- it's hard.

Toys for Tots is closed for the season. The Salvation Army told her they couldn't help her.

I feel so sad for them. I can swing 3 gifts that aren't too expensive (obviously not dollar tree or whatever).

Kids are 4,6,8

Would you help? 

Honestly I think it's horrible he would punish the kids because of her, but no I would not. 

I said no 

I voted no just because she brought it on herself. No the kids shouldn't suffer but the mom shouldn't of been a wh()re. I mean if they are married she should have access to some money. We get paid next week. 

Champ, I agree! The wife doesn't understand what she did wrong. She called the command and they were nasty to her (for obvious reasons) and she even mentioned the other guy by NAME so now he's in trouble.

The husband is a butthole for doing this whether they're his kids or not. 

She can't even get spousal support because she cheated on him- that's per the command. 

You need to think about your family first muse. If you truly need that money whether it's for groceries or savings. You earned it. 

I know. *sigh*

Those poor kids.

And while the mom was telling us about it, the 6 year old is in the background saying, "really mom? Again? We have to go without Christmas again because of you?" 

I don't know if I would or not...maybe if I were friendly with her I would invite them over for dinner? In such a tight financial situation it's difficult to make such a choice. Your heart is absolutely in the right place, and it really sucks those kids are going to suffer due to this. 

I just bought emma and Adah a lot of neat o stuff on kohls website last night. they have a coupon code for 20% off and free shipping, and some stuff was already marked pretty low.

I think it's holly20 if you want to pass it on for her. I only spent $100 after savings and had 10 items. 

I said no your family comes first. Its not right that the kids suffer but she really did wrong. 

Champ, she has no money whatsoever. He's cut her out of everything- already changed his account information and he's not obligated because of her infidelity.

LMF- my kids have everything already. This wouldn't take food or anything out of my kids mouth. 

and then again, I've been helped so much in the past few months (and even this week) that I sort of feel the need to pay it forward 

well if anything this should be a lesson that your actions do affect others and in this case it affected her kids. It's sad, but eh. Maybe the affair can spot her some $$ 

Let her go to the kids' father(s) for help FIRST. 

It's not the kids fault that he mom is a whore.. 

It's not the kids fault that he mom is a whore.. 

It's also not other peoples responsibility to find gifts for these kids. May sound mean but we all have to put our own families first. These aren't the only kids going without this Christmas:( 

It's also not other peoples responsibility to find gifts for these kids. May sound mean but we all have to put our own families first. These aren't the only kids going without this Christmas:( 

I agree. M, leave it to her. 

Oh I agree completely.. but if COULD give, you shouldnt NOT give the kids a gift just because the mom decided to mess up what she had. 

Hell YES I would help.

You're not helping the mom, you're helping the kids. It's not their fault their mom is a whore and to say "well, it's not really your problem." Well, neither is toys for tots... none of those kids are my problem or anyone elses. But that sure as sht don't stop me from dropping a few toys here and there or throwing a few dollars in the salvation army bucket or donating food to St James church or taking on my brothers kids. It's not your problem? Give me a break.

This thread absolutely disgusts me. 

Honestly, I'd say no. It's true that her kids shouldn't HAVE to suffer, but they SHOULD get the reality of the situation, the insider look at how your OWN sh*tty decisions can hurt everyone around you. Getting the idea that, no matter what you do, someone else will always step in and ensure the happy ending is much, much more damaging to a child than not getting toys on a holiday.

It isn't fair, but it's a life lesson that more people need. 

, but they SHOULD get the reality of the situation, the insider look at how your OWN sh*tty decisions can hurt everyone around you

Oh please!! The kids are 4, 6, and 8 yrs old!!! They probably dont have much of a clue or understanding of whats going on! 

Noel - at 4 all they get out of it is that Santa doesn't love them as much as he does other kids... they don't get "reality" yet.

Seriously. Like I said... if those kids aren't worth helping... then neither is ANYONE else. 

And while the mom was telling us about it, the 6 year old is in the background saying, "really mom? Again? We have to go without Christmas again because of you?"

I'd say the 8 yr old does if he said this. 

Noel - at 4 all they get out of it is that Santa doesn't love them as much as he does other kids... they don't get "reality" yet.

That's not as bad as them finding out this Christmas, that their God doesn't love them, either.

10-15 years from now:
"Thanks, Mom.. you ruined Santa AND God for us." 

Oh please!! The kids are 4, 6, and 8 yrs old!!! They probably dont have much of a clue or understanding of whats going on!

. . . I was WELL aware of the world around me at 6. Maybe my situation was more extreme than most, but I understood right from wrong, and I knew wrong when I saw people in my family doing it. 

And while the mom was telling us about it, the 6 year old is in the background saying, "really mom? Again? We have to go without Christmas again because of you?"


Oooh, yeah. Those kids are just CLUELESS, aren't they? Absolutely noooo comprehension of the situation at hand.

Mmf.

Good for that kid. He's already recognizing the sh*tty pattern. He'll probably be a better parent to HIS kids because of this. 

Seriously. Like I said... if those kids aren't worth helping... then neither is ANYONE else. 

If she had the means to do it, GREAT! But people who can't help because money is tight or whatever?

I help people whenever I can! But if you can't then you can't. 

No... if anyone said... oh, she shouldn't help for whatever reason... I'd really be okay. But to say - let the kid suffer because the mother sucks at life? That is ridiculous. It's not their fault. What if their mom lost her job? Again... same thing. Not the kids fault. No matter WHY she has no means to get them gifts, it's not their fault. 

I voted no, but not because the kids should suffer. I voted no because if you aren't in a position to help, then you just aren't in the position to help.