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domestic abuse

who's talking here?

LelaBelle 1
Allen 1
MusicNote 1
RMof2 5
Jungle Julia 2

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MusicNote (Mod) --- 4 years ago -

what are some of the signs that a woman is being hit? personal experience if you have any 

RMof2 (Mod) --- 4 years ago -

PMed you. 

Jungle Julia --- 4 years ago -

I've seen that in domestic abuse cases the abuser is almost always one of those men/women who constantly checks up on the other person and wants the other person to account for every minute of the day. Gets jealous easy....accuses the other person of things even though the abuser is often the person with the guilty conscience......checks the person's phone history/computer history/email/etc. 

RMof2 (Mod) --- 4 years ago -

My abuser did not check my phone history/computer history/email etc.. and I know of a lot of people who do those things that are not abusers. Granted they are not healthy in a relationship because it shows lack of trust and that is never enjoyable but I wouldn't say that just because someone does those things that they are usually the abusive person or just because they don't do those things that they are not abusive.

I was VERY jealous in my marriage and I was NOT projecting.. I was extremely faithful.. I was jealous of how well he treated others and how poorly he treated me so I assumed there was something going on. Definitely was not healthy for me to be jealous about that stuff but I certainly wasn't hitting him.

Not that it doesn't happen how you are suggesting just trying to point out that sometimes the abuser isn't obvious to people outside of the relationship and I have seen it in relationships as well where the woman was the abuser and the man was 

RMof2 (Mod) --- 4 years ago -

really possessive because he assumed that she was so abusive to him because she found someone else who made her happier.. It's not always about someone projecting something onto someone else. 

RMof2 (Mod) --- 4 years ago -

Man.. remembering all of this makes me happy to be single. lol. Most of the people I know here are in abusive relationships or one kind or another.. Physically and emotionally and I am reminded why being single is just easier. 

Allen --- 4 years ago -

black eye 

RMof2 (Mod) --- 4 years ago -

I have gotten black eyes from toys being thrown.. not by an adult.. so that isn't always a giveaway either. 

Jungle Julia --- 4 years ago -

My abuser did not check my phone history/computer history/email etc.. and I know of a lot of people who do those things that are not abusers. Granted they are not healthy in a relationship because it shows lack of trust and that is never enjoyable but I wouldn't say that just because someone does those things that they are usually the abusive person or just because they don't do those things that they are not abusive.



It's extremely common for abusers to be very possessive and controlling of their significant other. It's a classic sign actually. Does it happen in every single case? No, of course not. But low self esteem, jealousy, a "dual" personality, a view that the partner is a possession, and attempts to keep the partner isolated all fit the profile of the typical male victimizer.

Checking your abusive partner's phone history and computer history are kind of like Stockholm syndrome. These are maladaptive coping responses to being mistreated. 

LelaBelle --- 4 years ago -

Mn- Why do you ask? 

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